Santa Baby
by Nicole The Dragon Rider
Summary: AU: Santana's in love with Rachel for as long as she could remember but struggles with said feelings as they got older. She never persuade the diva outta respect for Finn who died in the army but this Christmas with a little holiday magic and an angel looking out for her, she just might get the girl but will she been able to admit her feelings? Will Rachel be open to them?


Santa Baby

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I don't know this happen… no, that's a lie cause I knew since I was little that I had a thing for the most stubborn, driven, irritating, overly opinionated, big mouthed diva that I have ever met in my life but she's ambitious, determined, generous and loyal. I denied my growing feelings for the diva because well it's Rachel fuckin Berry and there's no way that I could ever be in love with her although Finn who's my best friend ever since middle school thought differently. He would always teased me about it and I would threaten him with sticking my foot up his ass if he didn't quit because I wasn't gay at the time or least I didn't wait to admit that I was so I lost my virginity at the start of freshmen year of high school. It was awkward, sweaty and painful and I regretted every minute of it but it was the straightest thing that I've ever done but unfortunately the junior that I slept with couldn't keep his mouth shut, spreading the rumor that I never said no as my reputation for being easy skyrocketed.

I constantly had to deal with people talking about me behind my back and girls who had boyfriends who glare at me as I passed by but I glared right back at them before joining the Cheerios cause I knew that I would be amazing at it naturally. That's where I met Brittany and Quinn who became my best friends even through me and the blonde spent a lot of time completing against each other for the head Cheerio spot but I knew that I could count on her when I needed her as we ruled the school together, putting nerds, geeks and losers in their place especially one small diva.

She was our favorite target out of all the loser but it hurt me so much when she looked up at me with those big brown eyes filled with unshed tears which she refused to show. It felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart with a knife, constantly twisting it but I knew that I didn't do it then some idiot would do it and it would be a hell of a lot worse than what I would as Finn would look at me with utter disappointment and disgust in his eyes. He tries on more than one occasion to apologize to Rachel but I knew that I was too much of a coward to face her because I don't have the guts to say that I'm sorry and that I never meant to hurt her but I know if I did to it that there's no way that she would even believe me.

So I did the next best thing, I made the quarterback promise me that he would do everything in his power to protect and make her happy because in my heart I knew that I would never be able to do it myself plus I saw how she looked at him when he wasn't looking. Finn and Rachel became a thing and it hurt more than anything to see them together but I could handle the pain if it meant that she was happy and that bright smile on that beautiful face was worth it, meaning that was going to be well taken of because he's that kind of guy. The quarterback wasn't okay with taking my girl but I knew that he was falling in love with her too because I could see it in his eyes no matter what he would say so I took a step back because he's my friend and I wanted what's best for him.

Around the middle of junior year, a lot has happened the Unholy Trinity joined Glee club because Sue wanted to take it down but the real reason that I joined because Finn had asked me to since the club needed more member to compete and I love singing. Quinn's gotten pregnant by Puck as she struggled deciding if she wanted to keep the baby or not before deciding that she wanted to keep the baby then giving birth to a healthy little girl but unfortunately her prick of a father kicked her out the house although it didn't matter as she stayed with me and my parents. I got to spend more time with my goddaughter and I swear that it's like looking a mini Q everyday but that smirk on her face is all Puck as far as I could tell but that good for nothing decided to be an ass, not wanting to take of his kid before hitting the road out of here.

I haven't seen or heard from him since Beth was born but I say good riddance because neither one of them needs him in their lives but something in Quinn changed as she started hanging out with the Skanks, smoking weed, quitting Glee and Cheerio and acting like a fuckin bitch. As always it's up to me to fix things, giving her a little taste of some tough love and with time the bimbo came around because I was close to slapping the bitch, dragging her home by her hair. The weirdest thing was the fact that Rachel was trying to be friends with me, saying something that I was Finn's best friend and that we should get to know each other better, throwing me for loop and over the rest of the school year, I would find cookies and other baked goods in my locker and I have to say that the cookies are like orgasms in my mouth.

Things with the quarterback and the diva were weird as they started this on-and-off thing, breaking up over stupid stuff and I would get caught in the crossfire as one of them or both would come to me about what the other had or said then a few days later they were back together like nothing ever happened. _I swear gained five pounds from eating so much ice creams with Rachel and all the chili cheese dogs with Finn._ Everything seemed to worked for the better as New Directions won Nationals in our senior year, making all of our work worthwhile and graduating, moving in different directions but promising to keep in touch as I touch myself in New York going to NYU, studying medicine.

I was happy to get away out of Ohio but the only downside to it all was the week were I going to move to apartment, Finn came to me about joining the army and he showed up with a angry red bruise on his cheek, saying that he had gotten it from Rachel when he told her what he was going and I can't say that I could blame. I spent a full ten minutes yelling and cussing at the idiot for telling me at the last minute before finally calming down and the quarterback asked me to help him make his last day here with Rachel something to remember as I had half mind to throw him out but I know that I would do after everything that we've been through together.

I managed to book him a hotel room for the night and everything from there was up to him as I had a general idea what he was planning to use the room for as it made me sick to my stomach just thinking for several reason. I moved to New York, hoping to forget in Ohio and only coming back only when necessary as I threw myself into my studies and having a few one night-stand after finally accepting that I'm a lesbian after denying myself for what felt like an eternity. About a year or two of pre-med school, I woke to sound of my doorbell being rang at an ungodly hour to find a completely drenched Rachel standing in front of me with tears streaming down her face and suitcase in hand.

I haven't talked to the diva or Finn since I left Lima as she launched herself into my arm, spurting something that I couldn't understand and when I could finally get her to calm down, she tells me that she had received a letter saying that quarterback had been killed in the line of duty. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I won't be able to see that dopey, crooked smile of his anymore or hear any of his corny jokes but I couldn't breakdown cause I needed to be strong for the crying girl in my arms. She took a shower in my bathroom, offering my clothes to sleep in for the night before walking out in an oversized t-shirt and biker shorts, crawling into my bed as I held her close because I needed the comfort as much as she did.

"San?"

"Yeah Rach"

"I'm… I'm pregnant"

After a long seven months since Rachel was two months pregnant when she showed up on my doorstep, late night food runs, having things thrown at my head and the constant mood swings Christopher Santiago Berry-Hudson was born at 20 inches, 8 ½ pound. He has a little tuff of brown hair on his head, pale skin much like his father and when he finally his eyes, looking up at me with a crooked dopey, gummy smile I knew that I was in trouble because he remind me so much of his Daddy. _Finn, I promise you that I'll looking after Chris and love him so much. I'll make sure that he knows that his Daddy's a good man… no a great man but I'm gonna need your help to get through this._ About around Chris' second birthday is when I got into medical school and it took up a lot of my time but I knew that it was a start to becoming a doctor that I always wanted to be although it was hard to be away from Rachel and the little boy that wormed his way into my heart.

It was a few days until Christmas and I was looking to spending it with them but I need to go Christmas shopping is always a pain in the ass because I know what to get the petite singer as whenever I ask her what she wanted as a present, she would tell me that she's content with whatever I get her. By the time that I finally came home from school and working as a bartender at a local pub, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep for a week but what I saw by the door was the diva's suitcase that she came with two years ago confusing the hell out of me. Rachel walked towards the door, bundled up in her red pea-coat, green scarf with Chris bundled up in what looks like three layers of clothes when she looked up from putting something in her purse as a look of surprise, shock and something that I couldn't put my finger.

"Hey Rach, what are you doing?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"I um uh"

"Going somewhere?"

"Yes, actually I'm going home to Lima for Christmas" Rachel said sighing.

"And obviously you were going to tell me this" I said rolling my eyes.

"I'm sorry Santana but I think that it's best that me and Chris go back to Lima so I get back on my feet and finally stop mooching off of you" Rachel said looking me in the eyes.

"Mooching off of me? Who said that you're mooching off me?" I asked frowning.

"Isn't it obvious? I mean I haven't worked since I've been here and you've been taking care of me while I was pregnant and even after Christopher was born, you took care of us. You're going to school and working to make sure that we have a room over our heads and food in our stomach. I can't keep taking advantage of you like this anymore, Santana" Rachel said kissing me on the cheek before working out the door.

I stood stunned that Rachel was leaving me after everything that we've been through, she just took Chris and walked out of my life in a blink of an eye but I don't know how long I was even standing before opening the liquor cabinet that I locked up because of the kid but he's not here. I pulled out a large bottle of Jack Daniels and took a generous swallow as it burned on the way down but I didn't care because the love of my life just walked out on me and it fuckin hurts like. I wanted the pain to stop and the only I knew how to stop it is drown myself in as much alcohol as possible before blacking out and starting the process all over again tomorrow with a major hangover.

 _ **Three**_

 _ **No, Four**_

 _ **No, I had it right the first time. It's was three**_

 _ **Three days.**_

 _ **Three long ass days with no calls or texts from Rachel**_

 _It's been three days since Rachel left with Chris but it fuckin feels like an eternity. I can't believe that she would fuckin do this to me without any kind of warning or sign. Shit! If she was that damn unhappy then she should've fuckin said something, I'm not a damn mind reader. I thought she was happy with me, I thought that I could be enough but she left me. SHE FUCKIN LEFT! God why does this hurt so much?! Why can't I be enough for? Why am I not enough for her?! WHY?!_

"Well you stop bitching and go after her?"

I looked around the apartment to see who was there but there was no one as I fell face first back into the couch, reaching over to turn up the volume on the stereo playing Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers. I couldn't bring myself to cry anymore because I'm all cried out because this place doesn't feel like home anymore with the diva and Chris and I wanted my family back but I don't know what to do or what to say to make them come back.

"You do know what to say but you're too afraid of revealing your feelings to Rachel"

I looked up to see Finn sitting at the foot of my bed, dressed in a white shirt and pants as this white light surrounds him as he looks at me with that crooked dopey smile of his head. I jumped up and screamed blooded murder, picking up the nearest thing that I could find which was my alarm clock and throwing it at him only for it to go right through him.

"F-Finn?"

"Hey Santana" Finn said smiling warmly.

"I-I thought that you were dead" I said shocked.

"I am but I came back because you need my help. You and Rachel both do"

"Help me? Help me with what?" I asked frowning.

"With your feelings for Rachel. I'm gonna help you get her back"

"Obviously she's not happy with me" I scoffed.

"That's not true. She's more happy with you than she's ever been with me" Finn said shaking his head. "You gotta her to smile and laugh more after my death. She needs you, Tana and you need her"

"She'll be even more happy once I'm out of her life for good. I managed to stay away after high school and I was stupid enough to let her find her way back into my heart. It only brought me more heartache and pain" I said feeling the tears roll down my cheeks.

"What about Chris? He needs you"

"No, he needs his father but he can't and got saddled with me"

"Now you listen to me Santana Marie Lopez and listen good because Chris didn't get saddled with you. He's lucky to have you in his life because you're the most protective, loyal, and loving person that I know so get your goddamn head outta your ass and go get your family so help me, I'm haunt your ass for the rest of your life  
Finn said angrily.

There's only been a few times that Finn has ever cussed in his entire life all of which been directed at one point or another and he means business when he does and he's right. I'm not letting my family slip away that easily and I'm Santana Fuckin Lopez, I don't back down from anything or anyone.

"Thanks… brother" I said smiling softly.

"No prob sis, go get your girl"

 _I just hope that it's not too late_.

I came home for the holidays to be with my fathers but Chris hasn't stopped crying ever since we got off of the plane and I have tried everything to get him to stop but nothing I do seems to work. Neither one of us are getting enough sleep and I can't seem to thinking about Santana with the look that she gave me before walking out the door making me feel worse than I already do about my decision as I thought that I was doing the right thing but am I really? When I showed up on the med student's door, I was so distraught about Finn's death and I went to the one person that I thought could help even though I haven't seen her since we graduated high school all those years ago but our friendship hasn't at all.

Santana made me like life was worth living again and the pain that I was in wasn't as bad, making me loved and protected like how I once felt when I… was with the quarterback and my feelings for changed as we lived together. She helped me raised my little bundle of joy, treating him like her own. Everything was great but without realizing it, I've fallen in love with my dead fiancé's best friend and I felt like I had betrayed him in a way as well like I was taking advantage of her kindness for way too long than I should've. I'm twenty-two with no work or way of supporting myself and my child with no degree, relying on my friend for everything and I couldn't feel anymore guilty than I do right now as I felt the one place that felt like home for the last two years.

I'm laying on my bed in my oversized red McKinley sweatshirt that stops mid-thigh while my Dad decided to take Chris out to look at the Christmas lights while I get some sleep and I knew that I could use so I didn't fight them on it. I was about to close my eyes when someone rings the doorbell as a small sigh falls from my lips, getting up to answer the door, shocked to see the med student standing behind it wearing a pair of dark washed jeans that hugs her hips perfectly, a red blouse showing just enough cleavage, a black leather jacket with faux white lining the inside and the outside of the hood, and her jet black hair underneath a Santa Claus hat.

The expression on her face was unreadable as she leans against the door with her arms folded over her chest as my mouth opens and closes, trying to form some sort of coherent response but I couldn't because I wasn't expecting her to come all the way from New York to Ohio to stand on my front porch. The med student doesn't say anything as she gently pushes me inside of the house, closing the door behind her and before I knew it, she pulls me close by my hip to close the distance between us and kissing me fully on the lips. The electricity flows between us, fireworks going off behind my eyes, romantic music playing in the background, and a tingling feeling settled between my legs but the kiss ended, I followed her lips with my eyes still chuckled and finally opened them when I hearted her chuckle.

"Santana I-"

"Don't talk. I love you Rachel and I love your son. I love the life that we have together but if you were unhappy with the way things are then you should've talked to me about it then we could've found a way to change but don't just assume that you're taking advantage of me because you're not. I want you in my life because I need you and I'll do anything to make sure that you and Chris are happy because you two make me happy. I knew that this out of the blue but I-"

I cut her for because I don't need to hear because I heard more than enough because I thought I was taking advantage of her but that's not the case before pulling back to look into those brown eyes that I've grown to love.

"I love you too"

"Yeah?" Santana asked grinning. "Say it again"

"I love you" I said smiling.

"Again"

"I love you Santana Lopez" I said giggling.

"Again"

"Santana" I said lightly smacking her arm.

"Sorry but you have no idea how I've waited to hear those words" Santana said wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I'll say there as much as you need me to" I said kissing her lightly on the lips.

"So… where's Chris?" Santana asked around the room.

"My Dad took him around the neighborhood to look at the Christmas lights so they're gonna be gone for awhile"

"Do I need get to open my Christmas present?" Santana asked smirking seductively.

"Depends… have you been naughty or nice?"

"I've been have naughty" Santana said picking me up bridal style.

"Santana!" I shrieked as she carried up the stairs.

It was an interesting Christmas to say the least but I wouldn't have it any other way but I would have preferred if Daddy hadn't walked in with Santana's head buried between my legs.

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 ** _Merry Christmas ya'll and have an awesome day_**

 ** _~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off_**

The End


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